fresh

whoa its been long hasn't it

ok i'm in a new place with new surrounding and new people. to be honest i hate it. i hate the excruciating process of trying to fit in and getting to know ppl. i'm an introvert and i'm not exactly the best at socializing. i used to be able to fit in easily. as i grow older, i tend to judge and morph into an eeky hypocrite. that's gross

and i want a boyfriend!!!! wuwuwuwu i want a boyfriend! i know i sound really desperate here but it's time for me to get a boyfriend. everytime i see a couple doing their thing i get depressed. when i'm depressed i eat alot. wuwuwuwu so depressing.

during my free time, i would sit and ponder on the guys that i once had chance with and its sad to have those memories. the regrets and the what ifs.

oh wellll. i still believe in that one special kiss. that first kiss.

i want it to be special! :( even my fat friends have a boyfriend eeee. i should open up my views now

i feel so useless right now. if it wasn't for my sister, i would be crying my eyeballs out. just a simple meddling with the timetable also i cannot handle. i feel so so useless right now. my sister once said that i was the stronger one. but i can assure her, she's the leader,the stronger one in the family. i only look as though i'm tough outside. but not so deep down, i'm just an ordinary weakling. i am and i'm ashamed of it.

I wont lie....

.....I still can that it made me went too far...
I love Rainy Monday by the Shiny Toy Guns. Slightly upbeat, nice tune and not mainstream. I have something against mainstream songs. I blame it on Hits.fm. They totally overplayed it. There was once Beyonce's If I were a Boy was played 3 friggin times in 2 hours. God damn annoying.

Anyway, I self-declared today as a " Stay at home and rejuvenate" day. I've been going out so much, my muscles are hurting. Who said walking in malls is a r&r(rest and relax) activity? It takes up LOTS of energy I'm telling you. Not to mention, I'm running so low on cash, everything is so expensive! Just yesterday, my friends suggested to dine at NewYork Deli....It's OVERPRICED for the food the served. It's not even tasty. For starters, I had this mushroom soup with cappuccino powder, with a "must try!" sign. The thumbs up sign usually turns out to be not-to-bad. But it sucked. Bleurgh, i hate dilute soup. I'd rather cook my own campbell's mushroom soup > : (

Now, I'm down with a sore throat, aching arms and slight headache. I thought I'm down with the Hand Foot and Mouth disease because I have ALL the symptoms. Maybe I do??:S:S I'm trying to consume as much fluid as I can right now. Hopefully the rash around my mouth would be gone by a day or two. It feels good to be home once in a while. It's been a really dramatic week and things have been moving too fast. For a girl like me, honestly.. I don't deserve such treatment, such thoughtful treatment. I know I don't deserve it and I admit it.

It's been a really dramatic week. (hahaha I sound like meridith grey from grey's anatomy. She repeats her sentence after another sentence:P)

Now I'm left with awkwardness. I'm left to deal with awkwardness and that sucks. Mainly because, I treasure true friends. I treasure friends who are willing to go an extra mile.. I am willing to do so for those who deserves to be treated that way. My best friend knows that...

Two of my closest friends are now temporarily booted from the " close friends" list. It's uncomfortable and I hate it.

I bet you are going what the fuck is this girl blabbing about. I just needed to pen it down because telling this around isn't the wisest thing to do.

Hopefully, it's only temporary.

I'm flattered

I'll just cut this post short and get straight to the point. Okay, maybe i'll beat around the bush a little.
Question.

Who do you choose?
The mr-nice-guy who is willing to die for you?
Or mr-humourous whom you enjoy hanging out with?

please choose for me:(

what doesn't break you makes you stronger

i know it's a little late to come up with a new year resolution and i remember reading in the papers that new year resolutions are bad as it lowers your self confidence, or something like that.

well, it's good to set a goal right? at least you know which path you have to focus on, rather than straying away from it.

i was watching grey's anatomy earlier on and what caught me was the line spoken by meridith
" losing a competition doesn't mean that we can't roar". i find it very powerful, very deep. it seeps right through your soul. hahaha exaggerated:P

i'm so random tonight, i just feel like blabbing, penning down my current thoughts. btw, i'm almost dozing off right now. cooped up in my comforter, pillows around me.

approximately 4 more weeks till i go abroad. so scary yet exciting at the same time. i think i'm going to miss my mummy very much. there was once i was thinking how would i react in the airport and i couldn't help but to tear. boohoo:'(

i'll miss her cooking. her company. her nagging(haha this one, i'm not quite certain).

what will i do without mummy by my side??:( i do admit i'm quite pampered myself. I've never done any extreme chores besides washing the toilet. never done laundry , but i've been to one:P bwahahhaah omg the one in curve lah-.-

now i feel so guilty being mean to my mum. saying all the mean stuff to her. and replying rudely to her.

****
im feeling so ticked off right now. I just remembered what this male friend of mine told me. We were discussing about engineering course and I told him that this friend of mine is pursuing that as well. To my horror, he asked me
"female? sure cannot make it one"
I was thinking, a little too sexist isn't it?
I shot back at him and asked " what makes you think so"
He conveniently answered "girls can't do mechanical engineering, it's out of their league"

I was furious at that statement! Just because two out of ten girls can't do it, doesn't mean the whole female population can't.
Aren't you a little too full of yourself just cause you received the Dean's List. I know it's honourable and rare but modesty would help you through in life.

WEEwooo

It's 2009 already and approximately 5 more weeks till the day i leave=D I'm so excited and scared at the same time. My sense of direction abit off one lor, so without my beloved sister's guidance, I would easily lose my way in the airport.

And Chinese New Year's coming. I bought two new tops already happy happy joyjoy. Actually it's a dress but mummy thinks it's too short to be considered as a dress so she insisted of making it a top. It's multipurpose top! Heheheheh so value for money right. I'm a smart shopper.

Plus, Diva was having their pathetic sale. Managed to get a necklace for half it's price. Still quite pricey lor. Oh well, how often do i splurge??

I think I'm falling sick right now. My throat feels dry and prickly. My eyes are tired and I feel a little groggy. Maybe it's a lobsters. I ate 5 huge lobsters in 2 hours and other side dishes. Everyone knows I'm a glutton. How can I not input desserts also kan?? Yalor, I ate sinfully delish desserts at the end and excreted most of it out the moment I reached home

I am..

so easily deceived. I judge a book by its cover. Anything that seems cool appeals to me and I would want it so badly, without having a clue what the content is.

I just received a blow from my friend. And I still am hesitant about what A* is telling me because he's pretty much the jealous type and he bitch quite a lot. Very paranoid as well.

I do trust a little here and there but humour catches my heart. If you're funny in a cool way. You win. Reallly it's that easy. You don't even need a be drop-dead gorgeous. I know where I stand in line.

So if you wanna get into my pants. Just have a few tattoos around your body. Crack me up and there you are. Gosh, I'm so brutally honest. HAHAH

Guys, I was just kidding about getting into my pants. I practice abstinence.