The heartbreaker

"No I'm not a heartbreaker"

That's what they all say. But what defines a heartbreaker? A person who plays along with other people's feelings or one who dumps a person for another?

Somebody give me an exact definition please!

I'm in a HUGE dilemma right now, whether to give in or not. In my situation, I can't be labelled as a heartbreaker but if I look from O's* point of view. I'm pretty damn harsh and definitely ,without a doubt, should directly be downgraded as a heartbreaker.

In my entire life, I've never coupled. Ok fine, I did when I was younger but that was only through telephone conversation. No physical contact, no touchy touchy. Purely sms and telephone calls. And I regret dearly for that. My tainted first love. Eww, sorry *H , but I refuse to acknowledge you as my ex because we really DIDN'T couple if you think about it.

The whole thing was just " I love you *sends text msg*" ..." I love you tooo *sends text msg*". And it lasted for only one week. How can you say that's coupling leh you tell me.

Back to my dillemma.

Back in highschool, I only made S* cried for me. Oh the power of love. Now, we can make that two because O* was pouring his heart out and he was crying. OH MY GOD. I am terrible with words! I say things that are so prickly it hurts and really, I don't mean it at all....When a guy cries for you, you know he's dead serious. Yes guys? No guy would ever break their ego-shield and appear less macho in front of a lady.

My friends always question me , " Why wouldn't you accept O*? He's super nice, friendly, rich and not-bad-looking what" Honestly, I don't know. Some may also throw nasty comments " You're so relentless, god , you think you so pretty is it" OUCH???

Do YOU think I wouldn't want such a perfect guy??? Such guy who would walk with you to toilet just because you wanna pee. A guy who would run 10 miles just to get you a bottle of coke?? You think I don't want that?? I just can't cope with a guy who so nice to you to the extent that you can't breathe. You're forced to live up to the nice-ness that he showers you with. It's like a friggin competition!

However, it breaks my heart to know that I cause such misery to a person. A girl who's oversized for her age shouldn't be capable of doing that. Anyone who claims that love isn't blind can eat cow dung.

" Eww you're such a heartbreaker"

" No, I'm not a heartbreaker"


p/s: to O* I'm sorry for everything I've said or done. You deserve someone better. Someone who can treat you the same way you treat the person.